


The Bat-Chat

by Onyxim



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Animated Universe
Genre: Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onyxim/pseuds/Onyxim
Summary: Batfamily group texts.





	The Bat-Chat

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried uploading this several times before, but it was formatted weird. I'm gonna try one more time.

**Dick started a group.**

**Dick** : hey

 **Dick** : helloooo

 **Dick** : i started a group chat for a reason

 **Dick** : guys

 **Jay** : Oh my fucking god. you are blowing up my phone

 **Dick** : hello

 **Jay** : fuck u

**Jay has left the conversation.**

**Dick** : okay

 **Tim** : How did you make him leave already?

 **Dick** : idk hold on

 **Dick** has added Jay to the chat.

 **Jay** : fuck off

**Jay has left the conversation.**

**Dick** : omg

 **Tim** : You pissed him off. Great job.

 **Dick** : well then

 **Dick** : quick, I need a nickname, everyone needs nicknames

 **Tim** : I have one.

**Tim renamed Dick as "Erect Phallus".**

**Erect Phallus** : i should have seen that one coming

 **Tim** : PPFFF

 **Erect Phallus** : i walked right into that one

 **Tim** : Ha

 **Erect Phallus** : you suck

 **Tim** : Dick

 **Erect Phallus** : what

 **Tim** : That was the joke.

 **Erect Phallus** : oh

 **Bruce** : Why is there a person named "Erect Phallus" here.

 **Erect Phallus** : HA

 **Tim** : whoops

 **Tim** : That's Dick

 **Bruce** : I know what an erect phallus is, Tim.

 **Tim** : No, that's literally Dick.

 **Bruce** : Oh.

 **Damian** : What's an erect phallus?

 **Tim** : . . .

 **Erect Phallus** : . . .

**Bruce has left the conversation.**

**Erect Phallus** : omg

 **Damian** : What? And why are eggplant emojis next to Grayson's name?

 **Damian** : I'm going to Google it.

 **Erect Phallus** : dami nO

 **Tim** : You can change your name back now, I'm starting to get tired of looking at that

**Erect Phallus renamed himself as "Big Black Clock (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"**

**Tim** : How the fuck is that better

 **Big Black Clock (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** : you started it

 **Big Black Clock (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** : here

**Big Black Clock (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) renamed Tim as "Four Skin"**

**Four Skin** : THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE

 **Big Black Clock** : o shit you're right

**Big Black Clock renamed himself as "Dora"**

**Dora renamed Four Skin as "Boots"**

**Boots** : ._.

 **Dora** : :)

 **Clark** : What the -

**Clark has added Bruce to the chat.**

**Clark** : What has happened to the innocent minds of our children?

 **Bruce** : Oh my God

 **Bruce** : Oh my GOD

 **Bruce** : "Big Black Clock"?!

 **Dora** : uh

 **Boots** : Children?

 **Clark** : Yes, Tim, because by definition and by the law of the US, you are a child.

 **Dora** : i'm not

 **Damian** : You shouldn't lie to yourself, Grayson.

 **Dora** : i am not a child

 **Dora** : see look I'll ask Jay

**Dora has added Jay to the chat.**

**Dora** : jay am I a child

 **Jay** : you're a fuckin' piece of shit and if you text me again I swear to god I'll stomp your nuts into your pelvis

**Jay has left the conversation.**

**Boots** : I'M -

 **Bruce** : Well. 

 **Clark** : xD

 **Damian** : He's in a mood.

 **Dora** : well then

 **Dora** : should I add him again lol

 **Boots** : DO IT

 **Bruce** : I wouldn't

 **Clark** : *eats popcorn*

 **Dora** : hold on

**Dora has renamed himself as "Jay"**

**Jay has added Jay to the chat.**

**Jay** : what the ACTUAL fuck

 **Jay** : hehe

 **Jay** : do you like my nickname Jay

 **Jay** : so do if ex oh ex jepdsbdosbdosbdosnapxn

 **Boots** : What the fuck

 **Clark** : You broke him! xD

 **Boots** : PpfffffFfFFFf -

 **Bruce** : Why do you insist on terrorizing your brother?

 **Jay** : bruce you aren't even a part of this family if you have to ask that question

 **Damian** : Who shall we terrorize next?

 **Jay** : tim

 **Boots** : Wait what

 


End file.
